video games are a wonderful escape from reality until you see your reflection in the loading screen
"Open books, not legs" is the dumbest shit ever like
if I wanna read then I’ll read
and if I wanna fuck then I’ll fuck
and if I wanna rest my book against a hot guy’s head while he puts it between my spread legs then I’m gonna fucking do that bye
That was the hottest post I’ve ever read.
okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy
do you ever shift in bed slightly and suddenly youre in the most perfect sleeping position ever and you feel like the fucking planets are aligned
I think we’ve officially reached that annoying time in the year where it’s sweater weather in the morning, but by midday, if you wear a sweater, you die from heatstroke.
to make friends
yesterday someone at college asked me if i was on tumblr and i said yeas and he said what’s the url and i giggled
"fat girls shouldn’t—"
—have to deal with your narrow minded bullshit.
I may not be 5 gum but I can still stimulate your senses.
nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite